What Your Husband Really Wants From You: 6 Key Things to Fill His Cup

If your heart desires to give your husband the things that really fill his cup and make him love and appreciate you even more, Read on… 

Respect 

Our place and privilege as wives and women, is to give respect to our husbands.  

The culture of our times, tells us that men are bad, they don’t deserve respect, that they are just a necessary thing in our world to do the heavy lifting, and to serve whatever means we want.  

What a shame that we women have bought into that, even us traditional wives!  

We tend to only see our men as providers, servants if you will, to our every whim, helpers with the kids and maybe someone who put a roof over our head.  

We have unfortunately bought into the whole idea, that men cannot do a good job leading our families. 

That they cannot lead their wives and families spiritually. 

That they need to be controlled, or that we need to be their consciences. 

We have this notion, that men cannot make good decisions, or that they aren’t smart. 

And so, we fall into the trap of leading, instead of supporting and following.  

Or nagging instead of encouraging.  

We need to consider that we all have flaws and though not every man seems like someone that you can give respect to, it is still your ultimate duty as a wife, to give him respect as your husband.  

Giving him respect in our actions, tone of voice (this one is extremely important!) and how we interact with him, will motivate him to step up and do even better than he was before. 

Before I got married, I committed to one very important thing.  

That I would not talk badly about my husband to other people. Period.  

Sometimes things do happen that challenge me to hold my tongue,  

but that does not make him a bad person and by refraining to talk negatively about him, I am keeping my thoughts and heart in check and giving him respect as not only my husband,  

but a person made in the image and likeness of God. 

I’m shaking my head as I write this, because it’s not just us wives, that have caused our men to fail to be the men that they were meant to be.  

Mothers…some of you are not doing your job.  

You are coddling and controlling your boys and making them turn into grown men that still act like boys.

They don’t know how to step up, because you never let them really be boys.  

They have been coddled, and sissified.  

They are not trained to think like leaders, protectors and providers.  

You have not encouraged compassion, good initiative and a desire to love and care for women. 

You have not trained them up to have a good work ethic, solve problems and think logically. 

You have not let them tussle and wrestle and play like boys, which has made them girly in how they conduct themselves.  

You are stifling manhood!  

Let boys be boys, training them up to respect others, care for and look out for their family members, and develop their bodies into strong men. 

If you are a mother who is striving to raise up a Godly Man, I thank you…his future wife and family thanks you! 

Mothers, it starts with you… 

But if you are wife, that feels like you’re married to a grown-up boy, you can help him to be the man he was meant to be.  

The potential is there, it has been all along! Treat him like a man instead of a boy, and he might just surprise you! 

Peace 

Your man has dealt with problem solving, perhaps unpleasant interaction with clients, customers or coworkers, as well as driven through traffic and survived the noise of the workday.  

He needs to be able to come home, knowing that he will find peace and harmony within his home.  

To accomplish that, a wife and mother, needs to manage her home and family so that everything is running as smoothly as it can.  

Having the house tidy, dinner on the table or soon to be and the children and wife happy and cheerful to see him come home, gives a man great pleasure and relaxes him from the noisiness of the day.  

I’m not saying that the house has to be perfect, or the food sitting on the table before he walks through the door, or the children quiet as mice, but having a gentle noise level and cheerful attitudes, along with a general air of tidiness, goes a long way in giving your man a place where he can feel at peace. 

Our homes should be sanctuaries from the clamor of the world outside of them.  

Your husband will give and invest into his wife and family, when he feels welcome, cared about and that he has a place to relax and let his workday stress go. 

Managing your home as well as you can, will help with this.  

Having a peaceful home might involve decluttering, so that there is less to manage.  

It might involve training your children to behave better.  

It might involve meal planning, so that meals are less of a mental burden. 

If any of these areas cause enormous chaos in your home, consider tackling and improving them.  

Not only will your husband appreciate it, but you will be glad you lightened the home atmosphere as well.

In addition to having a peaceful home and family, give him a peaceful wife.

Rather than being nagging and getting after him about the things he hasn’t done, or the habits that bother you, be an encouraging, cheerful wife, showing patience and support.

Be at peace within yourself, knowing that your marriage and husband are more important than stuff.

Stuff is just stuff after all, and if it is pulling you apart, put that stuff in its place and treat your husband with more care and love than you give the stuff.

Companionship 

This is a huge one!

I know a lot of couples that love each other, but don’t really know how to be good companions for each other.  

It saddens me to hear of men talking badly about having to spend a weekend at home with their wife. They act as if it will be a chore!  

This is not right.  

You are meant to be your husband’s companion and the joy of his heart. 

The woman that he longs to be around and chooses first to spend time with over anything else.  

You need to be interested in him, what he loves and finds interesting and at least be able to listen to him talk about it, even if you don’t understand it.  

We expect this from our husbands, when we want to blab on and on about the latest gossip and things that we are interested in or are pursuing or how we feel, yet do we give it to them as well?  

Being a good companion can also translate into knowing how to spend good time with your man.  

Are you a playful and happy person who he can tease without having you bite his head off or be offended?  

Your husband should not be afraid of you or vice versa.  

If he pops in the door and throws a snowball at you while you are washing dishes at the sink, how will you react?  

Will you shriek, giggle and laugh and then pick it up and throw it back?  

Or will you get upset, grumble about having to clean up the floor or about your clothing being wet or the shock of the cold that hit you, and spoil his fun, making him feel guilty and like he’s not worth your affection?  

He should be able to play with you without getting his head bit off.  

Consider it like when you were a school girl and you had a crush on a boy.  

If he had done that to you, you would have known that he had thought of you and was paying attention to you in a way that boys tend to do.  

Let him be that schoolboy, crushing on his girl and wanting to make her laugh!  

When he does these types of things to his woman, it means he’s attracted to you and wants to be around you.  

If you fail to be a happy, joyful person for him though, he will feel shut off from loving you unreservedly!  

And it is less and less likely that he will attempt to show his love for you in a playful, companionable way.  

It is really important for men to feel like they can be themselves around their wife.  

It’s time for us woman to come down off of our high horses, and stop being offended when our husbands want to just have fun with us. 

I have seen time and time again, how men will choose a joyful, girly woman over a someone who might be a better wife in most other aspects, because men crave the lighthearted, joyful attitude that a girlish and cheerful hearted girl will bring to the relationship. 

Learn to flirt with him.  

Be flexible and lose your ego.  

Do things that you might be embarrassed to do in front of him.  

Just because you feel awkward, doesn’t mean he thinks you are!  

I’ve learned that from my own husband.  

True Story time… 

Last year, I was attempting to hula dance for him and felt incredibly awkward and uncoordinated.  

He on the other hand, felt completely different about it…He found it attractive, hot and enjoyable, despite my mistakes! 

Remember that your man sees you differently than you see yourself. He finds you beautiful at times when you don’t think you are. 

Give it a shot, because it is worth it to hear him laugh with joy and to have him drawn to you because you delight him! 

Love 

When we marry our spouse, we commit to loving them, with all of their faults, flaws and through the bad that might come a long.  

The real test comes when our commitment to do that is challenged.  

I often pray to God to give me love for my husband in the way that God loves him.  

That his flaws will be hidden from me, that I will fully accept him just as he is and that my heart will be fully engaged in loving my husband no matter what.  

I pray for gratefulness towards my husband and that I will not hold on to any hurt or being offended about anything.  

That I will move forward always striving to love him without counting wrongs or letting them influence how I view him. 

There are so many easy ways to show him love.  

It can be in the simple way that you reach out and touch him as you pass him in the kitchen, or at the table, (try kissing the back of his neck ;-)) in the smile that you give him across a room, in the gesture of doing something for him that you know he likes.  

It could be in the way that you subtly move in a flirty or suggestive way, that only he will notice.  

It could be in how you dress, wearing something that you know he likes to see you in. 

Making extra effort, especially when it is inconvenient for you, shows him your love. 

By engaging in an activity that he loves or enjoys, even when it’s not a favorite of yours. 

But the true test in showing true love, is by bearing with annoyances and faults, looking for and commenting on the good, and giving to him selflessly and beyond what’s expected.  

Take time out of your day, to do things for him that will show him that you love him.  

Go the extra mile. 

And most of all, tell him with your words, that you love him! 

Attraction/desire 

Your man longs to be attractive to you, to know that you find him desirable.  

He may not have told you this, but sometimes he wants you to initiate intimacy, to approach him first, to reach out and let him know that you find him desirable.  

He finds this so attractive, just knowing that you have that attraction to him.  

He will step up and be more of the man that you know he has potential to be, if he knows that you find him attractive.  

Within marriage, intimacy is a beautiful and blessed interaction that can strengthen and grow your marriage relationship, causing you to bond in sweet ways that will forever hold your hearts together, especially when you encounter difficulties together. 

Showing attraction does not always need to lead to intimacy in the bedroom though. 

If showing a little attraction to him, always gives him that vibe, then you are not touching him or complimenting him enough!  

You should be touching each other and making contact many times through your day, just to reconnect and to show the other that you are aware of and love them. 

A good marriage consists of a husband and wife who are touching, talking and thinking and caring about each other through each and every day.  

It should never get to the point that the only time that you are touching is when you plan on marital intimacy. 

Show your daily attraction with compliments, winks, private comments, exchanged looks across a room, a flirty text, and through your own code words in front of the kids.

Plan a Date Night.

It can be something simple at home, or extravagant out on the town.

The gesture, whether simple or extravagant, will mean so much to him.

He will glow inside, knowing that his wife is attracted to him! 

Gratitude 

Knowing that he is appreciated, can help a man bear up under the burdens and responsibilities that he carries as a husband and dad. 

He is better able to handle the stress and load upon his shoulders. 

Simply recognizing the time and energy that he puts into his work, his personal growth, and when he strives to do things for his wife and family, can go a long way.  

He needs to know that you see him.  

That you support him and that you are aware of the energy and effort that he puts into everything, because he does it for you! 

We all thrive on gratitude.  

On knowing that someone sees our everyday efforts and sacrifices. 

Sweet words of sincere gratitude, will give him strength to face another day. 

In Conclusion 

Give your husband these 6 things and it will grow the bond and love of your marriage incredibly!! 

Every day, I continue to try to give my husband these key things, and it makes all the difference in the world.  

The incredible part of all this, is that what you put in, will come back to you!  

I don’t say this lightly…When you give your man what he needs, by fulfilling his deepest wants, he will be satisfied and will return that deep love back to you!